Two Times the Quick

Olan Rogers is perhaps the funniest man to ever live. Enjoy:

 

Why to Smoke a Pipe

Why should you take up the ancient and sacred art of pipe smoking? Well…..

 

 

’nuff said.

But really, ever since I saw the first Lord of the Rings as a child I’ve been fascinated with pipe smoking. However, growing up Bapticostal meant that smoking was the third worst sin EVER (right behind premarital sex and voting Democrat). Thus, for many years my childhood dream of one day smoking Gandalf’s super-awesome wizard pipe went unfulfilled. But then one day a few months after I drank the Presbyterian Kool-Aid I was introduced to this crazy, biblical concept called “Christian Liberty”. Basically, it goes like this: A) the Bible is the only rule for faith and life, and B) the Bible never teaches that smoking (or drinking, or dancing, etc.) is inherently wrong, therefore C) Christians are free to partake of tobacco (or alcohol, or whatever else) if they wish.

Now, some of you may be like, “But the Bible says your body is temple of the Holy Spirit! Smoking tobacco hurts your body, therefore you’re all dishonoring the Holy Spirit and stuff or whatever.” Ah, my friend, but you are trying to prooftext your cultural prejudices by ripping a verse of Scripture out of context, and two can play at that game! In chapter six of the Book of the Prophet Isaiah we read:

“In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And on called to another and said, ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!’ And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke.”

“And the house was filled with smoke.” Yeah, that’s right. The temple was filled with smoke. Therefore, I’m gonna do my best to fill this temple (aka my body) with smoke. What now?!

Now, I know some of you are probably all like

But relax! I keed, I keed, I just make little joke. All I’m saying is that proof-texting cuts both ways, you know? At the end of the day, Scripture simply doesn’t say anything about smoking either positive or negative. Thus, it falls under the same category as meat offered to idols (1 Cor. 8) and other issues of conscience. You are free to partake, and you are free to refrain, but whether you partake or refrain, do so in love.

So, anyway….

Hopefully I’ve proved to you that there’s nothing inherently wrong with smoking a pipe, but more still needs to be said. Why should you smoke a pipe? I’ve compiled what I believe are some of the most compelling reasons for your consideration:

1) Because these guys said so!

“I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”  -Albert Einstein

“A pipe is to the troubled soul what caresses of a mother are for her suffering child.”  -Indian Proverb

“I hated tobacco. I could have almost lent my support to any institution that had for its object the putting of tobacco smokers to death…I now feel that smoking in moderation is a comfortable and laudable practice, and is productive of good. There is no more harm in a pipe than in a cup of tea. You may poison yourself by drinking too much green tea, and kill yourself by eating too many beefsteaks. For my part, I consider that tobacco, in moderation, is a sweetener and equalizer of the temper.”

-Thomas Henry Huxley

“The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish; it generates a style of conversation, contemplative, thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected…”  -William Makepeace Thackeray

2) Because it’s relaxing.

Our culture is ridiculously fast-paced and impatient. We are a fast-food nation. Our lives are constantly filled with noises and images and distractions. Pipe-smoking, however, invites us to slow down, to smell the proverbial roses,  to observe the slow cycles of nature, and to ponder the glory of the Almighty.

3) Because everyone in the Lord of the Rings is doing it!

4) Because….

Oh yeah

5) Because it’s easy and (relatively) inexpensive to get started!

Once you’ve made the initial investment of purchasing your first pipe, smoking a pipe is much, much cheaper than smoking cigars or cigarettes. In my next post I’ll provide you young aspiring scholars with a basic primer on how to smoke a pipe, what you’ll need to buy, and some recommendations for your first pipe tobacco.

One Day My Children Will Know this By Heart

Who needs the Westminster Shorter Catechism?

Marginalia

Once upon a time I believed it was utter sacrilege to write in a book. Then in my senior year of high school we had to read this article in English class and my life was changed forever. Okay, it really wasn’t that big of a deal, but it did change my mind. Nowadays, if you pull a book off my shelf and the margins aren’t filled with scribbles and asterisks and doo-dads it means either A) it’s on the to-do list or, B) it sucks. As Adler and VanDoren argue in How to Read a Book, reading is much more than just lazily flipping through the pages and letting the words glide through your mind. Good reading is like a conversation between you and the author, and writing down your questions, agreements, and disagreements is an integral part of that conversation. Besides, apart from the intellectual benefits of marking your books, there’s just the aesthetics of it all. Who doesn’t want their copy of Advanced Potion Making to look something like this?

Mmmmm..... Marginalia

So… anyway… if you still aren’t converted to the ranks of book-markers then you’re probably hopeless. But for those of you who will listen to plain reason, enjoy the following poem, and then go forth and be active readers!

Sometimes the notes are ferocious,
skirmishes against the author
raging along the borders of every page
in tiny black script.
If I could just get my hands on you,
Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O’Brien,
they seem to say,
I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head.

Other comments are more offhand, dismissive –
“Nonsense.” “Please!” “HA!!” –
that kind of thing.
I remember once looking up from my reading,
my thumb as a bookmark,
trying to imagine what the person must look like
why wrote “Don’t be a ninny”
alongside a paragraph in The Life of Emily Dickinson.

Students are more modest
needing to leave only their splayed footprints
along the shore of the page.
One scrawls “Metaphor” next to a stanza of Eliot’s.
Another notes the presence of “Irony”
fifty times outside the paragraphs of A Modest Proposal.

Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers,
Hands cupped around their mouths.
“Absolutely,” they shout
to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin.
“Yes.” “Bull’s-eye.” “My man!”
Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points
rain down along the sidelines.

And if you have managed to graduate from college
without ever having written “Man vs. Nature”
in a margin, perhaps now
is the time to take one step forward.

We have all seized the white perimeter as our own
and reached for a pen if only to show
we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages;
we pressed a thought into the wayside,
planted an impression along the verge.

Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria
jotted along the borders of the Gospels
brief asides about the pains of copying,
a bird signing near their window,
or the sunlight that illuminated their page-
anonymous men catching a ride into the future
on a vessel more lasting than themselves.

And you have not read Joshua Reynolds,
they say, until you have read him
enwreathed with Blake’s furious scribbling.

Yet the one I think of most often,
the one that dangles from me like a locket,
was written in the copy of Catcher in the Rye
I borrowed from the local library
one slow, hot summer.
I was just beginning high school then,
reading books on a davenport in my parents’ living room,
and I cannot tell you
how vastly my loneliness was deepened,
how poignant and amplified the world before me seemed,
when I found on one page

A few greasy looking smears
and next to them, written in soft pencil-
by a beautiful girl, I could tell,
whom I would never meet-
“Pardon the egg salad stains, but I’m in love.”

Billy Collins

Why I Love the Super Bowl

A Prophet Like Moses

I’m in the process of reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation (which, btw, is a much better way to do it then some sort of convoluted Bible reading plan), and today I finished the book of Deuteronomy. This book is the conclusion to the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible. During my reading, something stood out to me. After recording that Joshua is to succeed Moses, the Pentateuch closes with these remarkable words:

“And there has not arisen a prophet since in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, none like him for all the signs and the wonders that the Lord sent him to do in the land of Egypt, to Pharaoh and to all his servants and to all his land, and for all the mighty power and all the great deeds of terror that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.”

(Deuteronomy 34:10-12 ESV)

Now these words would be significant enough if they were simply claiming that Moses was the greatest prophet who had ever appeared in Israel, but when read in the light of the rest of the book these words practically scream out, “Foreshadowing! Foreshadowing!” Immediately, Moses’ prophecy in ch. 18 comes to mind: “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your brothers–it is to him you shall listen” (v. 15). Moses promises God will raise up another prophet, and not just any prophet, but a prophet like him.

Now, since you are an intelligent individual who remembers everything you learned from How to Read a Book, upon reading this passage you immediately began to do what all good readers do: ask questions. And the burning questions in your mind are, “Who is this prophet?”, and “Who could possibly be like Moses?” Good questions! As you continue reading you see that Joshua is commissioned by God to succeed Moses, and you’re all like, “Oh, okay. Joshua’s the prophet. Makes sense to me.” And you continue reading along all proud of yourself, but then you get to the end of the book and BAM! Enter ambiguity.

Joshua is not the prophet like Moses. Here we are at the end of the Pentateuch, and right when we would expect some resolution, we’re left with feeling that despite everything that’s already happened the real story hasn’t even begun. And what is true of this book in particular is true of the Old Testament in general. As we continue reading through Scripture we see this repeating pattern: God’s people always seem to be on the cusp of peace, on the edge of rest, but we keep ending up in the same place–a graveyard. With each new king, each new prophet, we ask: “Is this the one like Moses? Is this the one who will finish the job? Is this the one who will actually bring us into the Promised Land and give us eternal rest?” In the end, we are always left disappointed.

Thankfully, the Old Testament is not the end of the story. Thankfully, the New Testament tells us the story of a second, greater Joshua, a prophet truly like Moses who comes to bring God’s people into everlasting peace: Jesus. He is our Prophet, Priest, and King. He is the ultimate revelation of God. He is the one who has rescued us from the tyranny of Satan and freed us from our slavery to sin. He has brought us through the Red Sea of Baptism, feeds us with true Bread from Heaven in the Lord’s Supper, and has given us a new Law of love. He is the prophet like Moses, and yet he is so much greater. “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17).

But Take Heart; I Have Overcome the World

The following post is about a year or so old, but I’m going to republish for all of you who may have missed it the first time, enjoy!

A little less than a year ago, when I was still new at RUF, I remember Marc and Amy saying one night at the “What is RUF?” small group something that has really stuck with me. They said, “One of the most interesting things about growing older is how life just becomes darker and darker. Your twenties for the most part are a time that is characterized by new beginnings and joy: friends are getting married, babies are being born, people are starting their careers… But when you get into your thirties, that time is characterized by a steady increase in tragedy and sorrow. Now some of your friends are getting sick, some of their children are dying in tragic accidents, people are losing their jobs, couples who once loved each other are getting divorced. Of course there are still good times, but the bad times seem to be growing longer and darker and happening more frequently.”

That is not exactly something you will hear at most small groups aimed at college students, but it is a healthy dose of realism that we all need to wrestle with. This is what it means to live “under the sun” as the writer of Ecclesiastes puts it. Everywhere we look there are broken people in rebellion against God, hating themselves and hating others, crushed under the weight of guilt and regret. Sin is truly like a disease that has infected every part of this world bringing only death, sickness, loneliness and despair.

Now, I’m only a young man of some twenty years, and in many ways my life has been easy. Yet despite my youth and inexperience I too see this darkness that hangs over mankind. I’ve seen death within my family. I’ve seen broken relationships. I’ve felt in a minor way the fickleness of all worldly comfort and support. People have let me down and left me alone. I’ve seen friends self-destruct because of unbreakable habits that eat away at their souls. I haven’t seen it all, but I’ve seen enough. But most of all, I’ve seen glimpses of my own heart, and the way it is twisted and crooked and set at odds with God and man. I’ve felt the weight of regret. My heart resonates with the words of a song that asks, “Can you kneel before the King, and say, I’m clean! I’m clean!”

All of what I’ve written may make you think I’m constantly living in a pit of despair or something. Well, sometimes I am, and I do a good job of not letting you know that. But what helps me, what gives my heart peace in the middle of the night when I’m alone and it’s quiet and there’s nothing to distract me from all those things I’d rather forget, is what Christ says in John 16:33: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” In other words, yes, the world is dark. To quote John Hannah, “If, when you wake up in the morning, you don’t feel darkness in the depths of your soul, you just playing games with yourself.” This verse teaches us we need to stop playing games and admit that this world is and everyone in it is thoroughly messed up! Part of me wants to use a stronger word than “messed up” because that’s how dark it really is! Just plastering a smile on our face when everything around us is burning is not the solution. We need to be blatantly honest about the tribulations we experience.

But, that is only the first part of the verse, the hope comes towards the end where Christ says, “But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Take heart! Let your soul awake and find hope! Not because things aren’t bad, but because one day everything sad will come untrue. Take heart because Christ is risen! His resurrection is the source of hope. In him all of the promises of God are fulfilled. Because of the resurrection everything changes. It testifies to us that God is, and that he is involved in this world to reverse everything that has gone wrong. The sorrow now is real, embrace it, weep over it, but remember that it isn’t the end of the story. This is our only hope, the one ray of light in an otherwise dark and meaningless world. This is the one rope hanging over the pit. Grasp it tightly with white knuckles and make it your only plea. Christ is enough. Grace is enough. Following Jesus is the process of learning to truly believe that.

Hello world!

This cleverly-titled little blog is where I hope to publish ramblings on life, friendship, politics, music, tobacco, beer, history, theology, and just about anything else. I may or may not have anything worthwhile to say about any of those topics. Maybe, even if I do, my writing will be so completely boring and long-winded that no one will take the time to read it. I’m fine with that. This blog, and my writing in general is, to steal a phrase from a friend, “just my way of trying to amend the broken world I find myself in.” It’s a way of processing my scattered thoughts about this world, with all it’s sin and darkness and sickness and death, and also about the beauty and goodness and truth which still shines through it all. It’s about looking forward to the world to come where everything sad will come untrue.

Did I mention it’s also about good tobacco, good beer, and good music?